I think in life, it is only fair that you treat people the way you want to be treated. That goes far beyond just relationships in general. But what happens when you keep giving your half and your significant other’s half, as well? That sounds like someone grew really comfortable with things and decided to just absorb them selfishly, instead of returning that same love. This one-way street relationship will cause a person to become overwhelmed, especially if they also have a little one to rear.
The point I’m trying to make clear is that people have certain perceptions of what a significant other is supposed to do. A problem arises when one of the people in the relationship puts an end to all the wonderful things he or she has done to maintain the interest of their companion. Then BOOM everything just stops; no more cards just to say I love you, no more flowers, etc. Many times, this happens if the person pretends to be this considerate, giving person and then once they get you (marry you or just make you feel comfortable), so to speak, everything stops. You find yourself in a position where you are asking for more. Your companion may feel like they've done a lot, but now that things have gradually stopped, of course we want to know what transpired or what the cause was.
My opinion is that if you have to change yourself to be with someone, I don't think that love is natural - you are forcing yourself to be a certain way. I believe love should be completely natural because if you truly love someone, you will show him or her and that is the bottom line. Now, the way you show love is a different story and that could also be your downfall. One of the reasons for this downfall is that everyone loves differently and sometimes these differences cause problems if there are difference in intentions and interpretations.
Once you establish that your significant other does not love you the way you want to be lived, your first reaction - especially if you two are married - is to feel trapped. You feel like, "What did I get myself into? Here I am, the most affectionate person in the world (or so I think), and he says to me now, 2 1/2 years into the marriage, that he is not affectionate." It's all so crazy. What do you do? How do you make this person understand that you don't feel any love from them anymore now that the newness or, as my mother says, the “novelty” has worn off?
Why must it be that way; why are people afraid of being and doing things for each other on an equal level? Why keep things so unbalanced, leaving one person trying to salvage the marriage and the other appearing to be just fine with the way things are? This is selfish and in love there is no room for selfishness. If you only love yourself, then I believe you should not enter a relationship because relationships require you to have an open mind and heart. It just won’t work any other way.
I must leave you with this; not every man or woman is self-centered, so if you have encountered one during your endeavors, don't carry the emotional baggage around so long that it wears you down. It will make you very bitter and you don't want to miss your opportunity to find a soulmate. Why let them win twice? You will gain respect for being true and honest, not by pretending to be something you are not.
Honesty is the key.
