THREESOMES

These are merely speculations from someone who has indulged in the dalliances of both threesomes, and swing parties at one time or another.

Threesomes are experimentation at best. It is not a suggestion of homosexuality or lacking of sexual quality in a relationship. Although, I will go as far as to say that is a measurement of power. To create, harbor and evoke this unique sexual satisfaction in a person is an enormous vein of power, for it implants itself in memory and sometimes it becomes a life long quest of desire to reach that particular level of erotic excitement again, using any venue possible and/or available.

Tastes in sexual pleasure vary with ones age, mood, situation, persuasions, translations (interpretations), and relationship status. Personally, I draw from the well of Plato who said, “He who has many friends, has no friends at all”. To be a friend to many people, in a way of perfect friendship is impossible.” I subscribe to this in this situation by saying that intimacy requires majesty. And to achieve the perfect intimacy is impossible to share with anyone other than “the one”. I withdraw with disdain at those that recklessly use intimacy instead of the word sex. To the knowledgeable and understanding, they acknowledge the incredible difference in the two. Intimacy requires no sexuality, and sexuality requires no intimacy. So if separate the two, we understand that sex is not a dependent of love, intimacy or spiritual rapture. It is a physical act of release. It is the “before” and “after” sexual interactions that makes its distinction of the relationship, not the “during”, or actual act.

So now, we ask the question again, what do I think of threesomes and couples? I think to use the word threesome and couple in the same sentence is an oxymoron, wrestling in a pit of social conflicts and a Platonian mob. For me to have someone I feel love for is a very jealous, insecure, selfish, vulnerable existence, because it is something I cherish so. It is like walking around Harlem with a priceless diamond in your pocket, ever fearful of losing it. And yes, those same attributes I mentioned are the very attributes this world of societal alienation and separatism condemns. To admit aloud these sentiments in a relationship is to be weak, and frail and/or controlling. Now if these attributes, as with everything else, becomes betrayed with excess, of course they can become dysfunctional. However, if they are balanced and in the course of human events teeter from one side to another, ever balancing out, they are only acting as they are intended to be. Now we throw into the cauldron of eroticism a third party, a visitor, and a passerby.

No matter the capacity of friendship, they will never share in the true element of a relationship. More importantly, how can one share the one they love so freely? There can be no intellectualization for this quotient to validate this action. For, if a couple were truly in love, it is only a matter of time before the festoon of insecurity, jealousy, and insecurity takes seed in the memory of the act. Personally, I could NEVER share this private union with anyone. If I were unattached, I have and would, but never as an attached man. I would love her too dearly to barter her away for cheap thrills.

So, what is the attraction of a threesome? Certainly, it is not homosexuality or the suggestion of sexual inadequacy. Let us just apply a little Huey P. Newton, and say, “Those that know won’t tell, and those that tell don’t know.” To attempt to explain the dynamics and the sentimentality of a threesome would corrupt its meaning, spirit and veracity. With each person lies a different reasoning for participating; no two are identical aside from sexual pleasure and submission (another word we hate to use in relationships). Sex is a continuous exchange of power, a series of submissions and dominations. There may even be situations where one of the participants subscribes to the practice homosexuality or homosectionality (for those that believe that bi-sexual are not gay, only certain parts of them are gay – picture that one?) During my threesome experience, my focal point was the female orifice I was compelled to fill it, and it only. If his pee-pee came to close to my pee-pee, there was a well-planted knuckle sandwich waiting in the folds if needed. This does not mean I am homophobic - to each their own, it is merely preference to maintain my behind for tissues, not issues. If the notion or practice of homosexuality does appear in them, then that was their agenda all along, and that is the time I recite my favorite saying “Feet don’t fail me now”.

A person cannot speak accurately to an issue that requires eminent understanding, unless you yourself have participated in it. It is like a doctor that has had a broken leg talking to you about healing, and a doctor that has never been sick a day in his life. Both are well founded in their opinion, but which one would be the more insightful?

For those that are enjoying this lifestyle while attached to their “mate”, I respectively and respectfully deny their status as a mate in a firmly rooted relationship. Is there a gratification when one engages in a threesome, to some point yes? To me it is a war waged on our sexuality. One side are the moralists - reciting scriptures in Sunday services, and taking notice of how deliciously round Sister Pam’s behind has become, and there are the elitists - cool chic, designer sunglasses wearing group, unabated by their sexuality, who uses cool hip sayings to distract the onlooker of what’s really going on. In between are we commonfolk, are torn between the curiosity, the gratification and the desire to experience. However, gratitude is nourished by expectation, and once on that long and winding road searching for different and new expectations of pleasures we eventually tire or become bored to the point where you finally stop. When we have filled our satisfaction with reaction, and decide to seek the viability of stability, there she or he stands - The One. Some are luck enough to find the one, some find them and lose them, and some live a whole existence in pursuit. The One and The One make two – an even unity. One and One and One make three, and there is no word that even remotely infers an even unity in three. Therefore, there is no even unity in a threesome.

Of course, this is merely one persons brief summary of thoughts and do not reflect anything or anyone beyond his scope – nothing more.

Life is the best teacher and the world the best classroom.