I am not sorry to say that I fall into that ever-growing majority of young divorced single mothers.
As I look back on my experience of what was supposed to be a marriage; I cannot say that the whole experience was a bad one. I was blessed with two beautiful children. My daughter is my "little woman" and my son is my "lil man" and my heart. I thank God everyday for my little angels.
I surprise myself by saying that if I had to do it over again I would not change a thing. I can honestly say that what I experienced only made me all the more of a strong and determined woman.
You see my ex-husband abused me physically and emotionally. My story is probably like a lot of other battered women. He was the "perfect gentleman" and at the time my best friend. What we had started out to be the beginning of something beautiful. Little did I know that what we had was based on a lie from day one. He did not get angry (at least not in my presence) while we were dating. If we did have disagreements, we would discuss what ever we did not like or what offended us. That all changed once we came together as man and wife. We were both in the military; but in different branches. We figured that our love for one another could endure the separation. We figured wrong. I chalk that all up to being "young, dumb, and in love". Not to mention, that my ex-husband was younger than I in years and maturity.
It took me 3yrs to leave. It was not because of our children. It was because I really loved my husband and at the time I did not believe in divorce. That love soon disappeared. Believe me when I say we went to every kind of counseling available. Unfortunately, you cannot change someone who does not want to change. His mouth said one thing but his heart was not there.
Now that I reflect back on the day I filed for the divorce. It is quite funny how calm I was that day. I left work early and when I got to the courthouse I felt this cloud lifted. The sorrow that had anchored itself to my heart had suddenly disappeared. That was the best $159.49 I spent in my life (actually it was $161.00 if you count parking; but I did not mind). HAHAHAHA
I gave the clerk the money and thanked her ever so much. I then went home and called my two very close girlfriends. Of course, they asked the all too familiar questions "Are you OK" and "How do you feel". Then they wanted to go get margaritas to celebrate and plan my "She's Single….Again" party. I ended up staying at home relaxing. I had a glass of wine and took a long, well deserved, bubble bath. Thoughts of the end to a brand new beginning drifted through my mind as the water soothed my mind and body.
Since that day I have not stop smiling.
