Look But Don't Touch

Recently, there has been a great focus on the single, black mother, identifying the trials and tribulations she must tolerate in her efforts to be a good parent.

However, this discussion has neglected another individual in today's world of less than lasting relationships. That person is the unwed, single, childless brother that attaches himself to a single-mother family unit, and accepts the responsibility and privilege of entering their world. The single black male assumes this role in spite of the obvious obstacles and complexities that litter this path.

He knows that to accept a woman, he must accept everything that encompasses her world, her life and, above all, her children. Creating that delicate mixture of tolerance, protectiveness and paternalism, while still dealing with a world where confusion and frustration sometimes reign, is nothing new for the single black man. He must identify when to be the father figure and when to withdraw or merely assume the role of adult. He must remain forthright and never overstep his dual roles, not only with the children, but with the mother, as well.

And when the unfortunate break-up rears its head, he is forced to process the worst experience imaginable: his separation from children he has become deeply, emotionally attached to. Now, of course, critics can readily state, "If you’re mature enough, you can still play an active role in their lives." But there is still a void he must face.

The family unit is the most important characteristic of any community. It is the foundation we all stem from. And we all must accept and support each and every member of our community.