Q: My lover is a married man. He says he loves me. But when I try and ask him about his marriage – he refuses to talk about it. He doesn’t say that the marriage is good or bad. He has even asked that I have his child. But he is just not forthcoming about his marriage. What does he want?

A: Girlfriend, your lover wants his cake and he wants to eat it too. He is selfish and is only thinking of himself. The question here is, what do you want for your future? The reason that he doesn’t want to discuss his marriage is because it’s private and he doesn’t have to share that with you. You accepted him – knowing that he has a wife. They share private things together; that leaves you out of the loop. That’s what marriage is about. However, he is cheating on his wife and basically cheating on you as well. And the bigger issue is that you’re cheating yourself. He is a man that doesn’t want to make a choice. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t make a choice. I’m sure there are single dateable men that you could be spending your precious time with. Girl, get going toward a more meaningful and richer relationship for you. Be true to thy self.