Q: My son’s father and I have been together for 10 years. We finally broke it off due to commitment issues and infidelity. Although we are good friends and share our secrets – we are also intimate friends as well. I really care about him and want a committed relationship with him. However, he has other friends, but I don’t know how serious he is about them. I don’t want to mess up what we do have by trying to force the issue.

A: Well, you have already committed 10 years of your life to this man. But he has only gone so far to commit any further to you. You have to decide and be very serious with yourself about what you want – if not with him – with someone else who is not a commitment phobic person. Do you want marriage? Do you want just a casual relationship? Does this emotional rollercoaster help or hurt you and your child? In the long run, is it worth it? Do I love him? And more importantly does how much does he love son and I -- and how does he show it? There are good books about this subject that may help you realize that he may never commit to you. And believe me it will be more devastating to you if he chooses someone else to marry because she made him respect her and she wasn’t willing to settle for a non-committed relationship. In addition, you will hate yourself that you wasn’t some very precious years with a guy that does not want to marry you. Lastly, if there are infidelity issues ask yourself is this the kind of husband that you could trust and hold as a role model for you child? Answer: probably not.